Faith

I've been thinking a lot about faith. Faith to move mountains vs Faith to just get through another day. I think I have focused so much of my faith on the belief that we live in hard times and it's going to be even worse at the last days. And I am gearing myself up for those last day hard times. I mean, we are talking earth quakes, tempests, and famine.  And I'm getting ready for it. I'm strengthening my faith for those "hard times" when I will need it the most. You know, when the great divide takes place and half of the members will be foolish and half will be wise, I'm determined to be on that wise side.

But I am learning that I have to prepare more so for those day to day trials. Those day to day famines that take place in our lives. The loss of a loved one to an addiction is very much like a great famine. It is very much an earth shaking experience. Did I prepare enough for these day to day signs that we live in hard times? Is my faith sufficiently strong to sustain me through daily gut wrenching spiritual and emotional pain? It hasn't come in the way I had expected it to, but it is here nonetheless. Am I prepared? Is my faith sufficient to carry me through this?
My husband is also in the thick of this spiritual famine. The world is telling him to feed himself from things that will never satisfy. His choosing a spiritual anorexia over spiritual abundance.
But am I allowing myself to also be caught in this famine? Am I getting the spiritual nourishment I so desperately need?

If the answer is "I hope so," I have a lot of work to do. That answer will only get me so far. I need to be firm in the faith of Christ. I need that perfect brightness of hope. I need to see this trial in my life for what it is- signs of the times.

Am I ready? Can I get through this and maintain my faith in Christ? If the answer is anything but a resounding "yes!" I have work to do within the walls of my own soul.