Like Joseph of Egypt

I really can't remember if it had been just a few hours or a few days at my parent's house, but I got a call from Mr. Broken. It was all such a blur to me. Trauma does that to you. It makes everything fuzzy and you are trapped in fight or flight. Survival is all that matters, not the little details that healthy people pay attention to or have the energy to enjoy.

But he called. He had a "confession" to make. There was more. My heart sank and I felt this painful burning in my chest. Like something really bad was about to hit me.

He made a confession that would later change at least 4 more times in both its description and its severity. Each time getting worse and worse. Each time killing me just a little bit more. Each time making me trust him less and less. (as if I needed more reasons not to trust him)

For the first 2 confessions about this particular incident, he would end it by telling me that he "ran away like Joseph of Egypt." for the rest of the "corrections" in this confession, that part kind of dropped off...........for good reason. He was nothing like Joseph of Egypt in this situation. He didn't run away at all.

I actually love the story of Joseph of Egypt. It is one of my favorite Bible stories. I love the lessons it teaches about commitment to God, and forgiveness to those who wrongfully use you and persecute you.

My husband was nothing like Joseph of Egypt, but I knew I needed to be. I needed to make sure that his addiction and the betrayal of our covenants didn't give me reason or excuse to do the same. That I still needed to stay true to the covenants I have made to God, even if my spouse didn't.
I knew that eventually I would need to find the strength and ability to forgive my husband, and to forgive his parents who have wrongly taken his side and left me bleeding on the floor. I knew that now more than ever, I needed to listen to the spirit guide and direct me. And it has. All of the corrections that ended up taking place about my husband's confession over the next few months, would come out due to the spirit prompting me that something was not correct and that I needed to go back to Mr. Broken, and to this story, to find out the truth. And every time I listened to the spirit and acted on those promptings, there was information that he had left out or things that needed to be addressed.

The spirit does not lie. God does not lie. My husband DOES lie.
Like Joseph of Egypt, I will trust in my God. Like Joseph of Egypt, I will need to have a forgiving heart. Like Joseph of Egypt, God will bless me for running from the temptations to break my covenants just because my husband did. Like Joseph of Egypt, I will serve well in the prison I am now in, knowing that one day I will be free and have great success in life, aside from my husband's addiction. I don't have to be broken forever.